a bit obsessive...

so, i must confess that i get a bit obsessive about things at times and it tends to consume me more than it should. in the past my obsessions have ranged from crafty endeavors, "business" endeavors and to the most recent...books. now you wouldn't think that books would be a bad obsession, but for me it is! i get so involved with reading and finishing the story that i neglect the things around me and that's where the problems are. the house tends to fall apart and i get angry when i get distracted from the story in front of me...it's bad!

my latest obsession is the twilight series, in the past 2 weeks i have been consumed by my obsession. i started reading twilight, finished it within 3 days (i'm a horribly slow reader), then watched the movie (which has become another entirely separate obsession!) before moving onto new moon. once i started new moon, i became even more consumed with the story...i like that book the best (so far) & finished it within 2 days. i really wanted to wait and just borrow the last 2 books in the series, but just had no willpower. so i ordered the complete series and had to really test my patience by waiting for that to arrive. i decided to reread both twilight and new moon while i waited for the set to arrive...figuring that if i read it even slower, the impatience i was feeling for my the arrival of the rest of the books would somehow be easier to take! it worked better than i thought it would and so i didn't completely obsess about the package that i knew would eventually arrive, hopefully sooner rather than later.

i was very surprised when the books arrived about 3 days earlier than i expected, but very relieved too since i didn't think i would be able to control my obsessive need much longer (see, it's very bad!) i did manage to wait to start eclipse until i had finished new moon for the second time & caught up on the cleaning that i had neglected around the house. as a quick side note, i do try to control my obsessiveness enough to continue to take care of my family & myself...i don't neglect meals, showers, bathes, familytime, things like that. i simply slack in the housecleaning department, which is already very slack! so i started eclipse on wednesday this past week, finished it by thursday morning & then moved quickly into breaking dawn, finishing it late friday night (really it was early saturday morning). i stayed up until 2am, two nights in a row, completely consumed with reading the books. sleep means very little to me when i'm obsessed with something!

the last book that i got so obsessed over was the final harry potter book and the day waiting for that to arrive in the mail was not good for me or my family for that matter. in all fairness i had given my husband plenty of warning that once the book arrived i would be completely useless since i would be buried behind the pages of the story. i simply had no idea at the time that i would be a basketcase waiting for the mail to arrive...had i known that it would take all day for the mail to arrive & thus increase my impatience, well then i would have simply bought the book at the store the day it came out! but i'm a sucker for a bargain so i preordered deathly hallows foolishly thinking that i could be patient! i wasn't patient & that was my first true glimpse into just how bad my obsession really was!

but once the book arrived and i fed my need, i was fine! starting and finishing the book within the weekend, even caring for my family while walking around with my nose buried in it. i was rather proud of myself and assumed that my obsession was simply with the harry potter series and would therefore die away since the final book had been published, read & reread several times over by myself. yet, nearly 2 years later i sit once again with my nose buried behind yet another book series!

i have now read twilight & new moon twice, eclipse & breaking dawn once, and the unfinished midnight sun once over the last 2 weeks. i also watched the movie 4 times within a week, breaking down and buying it for myself so that i could watch it whenever the need struck. however the movie caused it's own separate kind of obsession...one that revolves more around music than the actual movie. i'm hoping that once i reread the last two books that my obsession for all things twilight will then fade away as easily as the harry potter obsession...allowing me to freely reread the books as often as i like whenever the mood (not the obsession) strikes!

i'm not holding out much hope though as i head upstairs to pick up eclipse and bury myself once more in the pages of the story!

too many thoughts...

i have far too many thoughts floating around in my head at any given time on any given day. and that can be completely frustrating! today is one of those days...too many thoughts mixing with too many memories...driving me close to the edge of insanity. i'm a horrible, hormonal mess who could cry at the drop of a hat and actually has already broken down into several small crying fits already today. yippee for my family and to a lesser extent, for me.

it's hard to know why i'm really crying, all i know is that i can't seem to stop. so now i'm writing to try to make it all go away or at least lessen the tears...figuring that by getting things out of my head that will therefore stop the build up of tears. or it could cause a bigger downpour, but either way i'll feel somewhat clearer headed...if that's even what i could call it.

my deepest desire is to be a writer, but there are lots of writers out there...those published and those not and i know that my words are nothing special, at least not at the moment. but, i'm gonna try, yet another "hobby" to add to my long list, to be a writer even if it's only to purge the many thoughts that run through my head...it's something that i'm going to try. every writer has to start somewhere and my starting point is my blog. it may come to nothing, my words and writing style may become so mixed up that they only make sense to me & really i'm fine with that. but, i'm still going to try...that's all i can do. the hope is that i can at least empty out my brain each night before bed so that maybe i'll fall asleep faster & possibly put everything together in some coherent fashion.

so, here i go venturing down another path, because it goes along so well with all the other started but never finished ventures that i've tried in the past. i'm horribly good at starting new things...it's the finishing that seems to elude me so often.

finally, finally, finally...

i'm finally getting around to updating my blog! i'd like to say that i've just been so busy with the kids, sewing, making things, selling things, etc...but alas, it all comes down to my laziness! i am a lazy person and have finally come to accept that part of myself...i really have tried to change, but it's just too hard & quite frankly, i've given up. so now i am fully embracing my laziness & sprinkling in some productivity throughout the day just to seem like i'm doing something!

my productive thing for today, other than laundry & toilet cleaning (yippee.), is to finally try out one of the many sewing patterns i have purchased over the last six months or so. and as an added bonus, i'm going to blog about said pattern and post pics of the completed item. i'd like to say that this will be a regular thing, but my laziness will more than likely kick in & i'll only make it through one project (maybe 2 if i really try).

so, now i'm off to make a skirt for jordan...just have to decide which skirt pattern i'm going to attempt first.